You've ever had a rod shoved up your cloaca. Those pesky people always take away YOUR eggs!!! You go off feed for months and find it funny when your keeper goes nuts. Garden hoses look kinda attractive. Fresh food means still breathing. You impolitely yawn after every meal. You've ever taken a large dump minutes after your cage has been cleaned. People fear you!!!! You're offended when lawyers/politicians are referred to you. When in zombie movies, they remove their skin, you don't know why that's a big deal. You think Indiana Jones is a wussy.