Alright listen. I FEEL YOUR PAIN. A few months ago my leopard gecko had to be put asleep. It was the best thing that was possible for her. I was sad but after i buried her the only thing that i could think about was getting another lizard. So i now have 2 uros and i love them. There the best so maybe you will think about getting another lizard. I now what your going through and I'm sorry.