Re: Maybe it's not worth it.

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Posted by BeDreamin on April 18, 2003 at 17:13:44:

In Reply to: Maybe it's not worth it. posted by girlzilla on April 18, 2003 at 13:23:28:

First let me just say that you are a good person, and that the overwhelming majority, if not all, of the posters here on this forum strike me as some of the best company that a person can have the good fortune of being in. The compassion and insight that most of you convey comes across as powerfully and sincerely as any I have read, heard, or otherwise been exposed to.

I think many of us here have the same thoughts. I've often pondered over the day that I will lose Rex, or what would happen if Rex lost me. I've looked around and been mortified over the fact that no matter what I do, I cannot make an ideal life for Rex. She will never be independent, never thrive in a tropical environment surrounded by her peers. Would she face dangers in the wild that she will not deal with in captivity? Of course, but is there any way that living in a humans dwelling, in a temperate zone, where it's all I can do just to provide simple stimulation like walking around my bedroom floor while I do homework can compensate for the fact that she is an animal intended to be WILD and FREE, but is now captive?

But you are right when you realize that it isn't our faults. Sure, a ban could happen, but let's face it, a simple boycott won't do anything but let iglets in pet stores wither away for generations until they are determined not profitable by these pet stores. That's why until there is an actual ban, these poor igs are much better off with us. Even if the animal lives as happy a life in captivity as they can, and we have to lose them at the expense of a huge amount of suffering on both parts, just think of the odds that that iguana would have even been CARED ABOUT with someone else? What percentage of those who buy igs in a pet store actually even end up TRYING to care for them properly? All I know is that when Rex leaves me, I will be in a very bad way for some time. Just like you say, thinking of it makes me not only teary eyed, but positively scared. However, I know that I will never do anythign to intentionally hurt Rex, and that I will always do the best possible thing for her I can. I've come to feel that I owe it to Rex, if only because of the 19 other iglets in the pet shop with her that went to homes with iceberg lettuce and 60 degree temperatures.

Just like you said, I pray that she will meet a painless end. There is no way to know what will happen, or even how it actually will feel to her. I just hope that in whatever level of understanding she has towards my efforts to provide her with a happy life and whatever greater force is out there in the universe, that I and she could somehow understand the very situation that brought her into my care. I am sure that our pets understand full well that we love them, and that part of the pain of losing a human or a pet in this life, is that we as mortals can never totally connect and totally convey our feelings to another. I am also sure that this understanding lies beyond this life, and that we will all someday be relieved in finding it.

:I just read the news from Mr. D. I haven't posted this, because it's embarrassing, but I just finished a round of x-rays and vet visits with Bud, after stepping on him in a dark room. I thought I knew where he was, but I didn't. He's perfectly fine. I didn't step on him hard, but I could have.

:I read people's posts about their iguanas dying. "It was the worst day of my life," they say, "I lost my best friend." The iguana deaths I read about are from egg complications, renal failure, total system failure, cancer, traumatic injury, or mysterious causes. I have yet to read of one of our iguanas dying of old age.

:On a day like today, I feel like none of this is worth it. Oh, I don't mean I would give up my iguana, or that I don't love him. I mean, we seem to know so little about the way to take care of iguanas, that it feels totally wrong to keep them at all. I don't mean this in the theoretical, PETA way. I'm watching and seeing that iguanas are dying disgusting, painful deaths every time, maybe just because we keep them in captivity. I don't know. Maybe they would have died this way in the wild, too.

:Oh, not me, I always used to think, it's not MY fault Bud was imported from wherever! I just found him, and rescued him! But I am starting to fear the day he dies so much that I get teary just thinking about it. If I have anything to say about it, he will die quietly and painlessly in his sleep at twenty or older. But despite my best efforts and the better part of my income, he probably won't.

:And I'll have to watch and do whatever futile actions I can to ease his pain, and know that he doesn't understand what's going on, and that indirectly, his death is my fault, and the fault of everyone who inspires other people to keep iguanas.

:I don't know if all reptiles and exotics are prone to these violent, terrible maladies, regardless of all the good care they may receive. All I know is that this stuff doesn't happen to normal animals with the same frequency. Maybe that's the kind we should stick to keeping in our houses. If a ban on importation and breeding of iguanas and other exotics was passed today, I wouldn't mind. That's the way I feel today.

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