Posted by cwatbay on August 20, 2000 at 21:59:42:
I will try to make this as unbiased as possible. Quit laughing!!!!!!!!
The other day, I was in our tiny town, downtown. Population is 1500, mostly in the mountains, a few houses down town. It's an old redwood logging town with mostly bars, liquor stores, some restaurants and some new internet companies( real small ones ).
So I am walking down the street, after going to the pet store to get a mouse for Sydney, and I see this guy, a mountain hippy new ager type, about 38 to 40 years old, with a fairly large ig on his shoulder.
I stop him and have a little chat, here is a Reader's Digest version of how it went:
How old is your ig, seven years ?---"nope, 5
What happened to his tail? ( 2/3 is gone ) --- "well he had an accident and we just felt it was better to have it short this way, it's better you know" ( ps: the ig was on his shoulder and he was holding it by the tail )
What kind of enclosure do your have ? --- " well I was building these really neat cages to sell to pet stores, but they kept screwing me around, so I don't do that anymore. Anyway, Stumpy here gets to wander around in his room and stuff."
Ok folks, it gets better from here .....
This guy is holding a plastic bag of red chard.
Looks like you've been to the store ---"yeah, I go by the New Leaf ( thats the 3x normal price "organic" produce store in town, natural fiber clothing-petule-and multiple piercing are needed to get in ), "I got a deal with the produce guy to give me his old stuff for free, for Stumpy here".
Really ??! --- "yeah, you know what igs really love, tofu man. Yeah, I feed to Stumpy all the time, he loves it. And you know what else ? Carrots man. I feed him carrots all the time, you know, like shredded up man, he loves em. "
Don't you worry about the protein in the tofu or the carotine in the carrots ? --- "huh ?, or no man, iguanas love it, it's good for em.
Occasionally I give one of our igs a fig newton --- " oh no man, you ever read what is in those things, oh man, that is bad".
Yeah well, he does get the all natural type ( I lied )---" yeah, well, I got to get going with my walk ( that was it, he turned and kept walking ).
You ever notice that there is never a Louisville Slugger around when you really need one.
CW