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Posted by Wes von Papineäu on March 25, 2000 at 06:42:18:
SCOTTISH DAILY RECORD (Glasgow, Scotland) 03 March 00 Help! I'm being held captive by my horny lizard
A lusty lizard is desperate for sex - with his 56-year-old woman owner.
And while many women of a certain age might be glad of the attention of a lounge lizard - his advances have left Sheena Gordon- Rogers at her wits' end.
First, she tried squirting horny Lechuga with a water pistol to dampen his ardour.
When that failed she got a rape alarm - but even its high-pitched whine failed to douse her 5ft suitor's fire.
Finally, she had the sex-starved iguana castrated. But the operation had the opposite effect and left him more determined than ever to have his wicked way - and made him grumpy into the bargain.
In desperation, Sheena bought a puppet iguana and slept with it four nights running to give it her smell.
She also stuffed the soft toy with her clothes but her Romeo pet wasn't fooled.
Months down the line, Lechuga - the Spanish word for lettuce, reflecting his vegetarian diet - still tries to pounce on Sheena every time she comes into sight.
Not even the glass cage he's locked up in for Sheena's safety puts him off.
He gives himself a bloody nose bashing against the glass in his efforts to get at the lust of his life.
Sheena said Lechuga used to roam around the house for three or four hours a day without a problem.
She said: "When we first got him he used to be very tame and even used to sit on my head.
"The problems began very slowly and grew from last spring. It started when I put my hand in the cage and he would go for it.
"Then it just became worse over time.
"I tried everything the vet suggested such as the rape alarm and castration, and then eventually I was passed on to the animal behaviour expert at Edinburgh Zoo."
Lechuga was bought for pounds 30 when he was only 12ins long for Sheena's daughter Tam on her 15th birthday. But with Tam now a student in Glasgow, Sheena was left to look after her pet.
He shows no aggression towards strangers who are allowed to walk around the house, watch TV, make tea and even sit and stroke him.
Last night, animal experts confirmed the pet, who has been sent for therapy, was suffering a sexual disorder.
Animal behaviour expert Samantha Scott said the problem arose when Lechuga reached puberty at the age of five.
She said: "It was a severe burst of testosterone which triggered the problem.
"But in this case because castration occurred after puberty, a lot of the changes had already occurred and the iguana stayed in a high state of arousal.
"But through behavioural therapy we are managing to overcome this."
Expert Anne Gallagher added: "Lechuga sees Sheena as a threat to his territory because he's used to her and that's why he attacks her.
"He doesn't see visitors as a threat and that's why he doesn't attack them."
Lechuga's case will be discussed at a conference on animal aggression, Pet Behaviour 2000, at Edinburgh University tomorrow.
Iguanas came in for bad press recently in the series of Budweiser TV adverts. Louie the bitter lizard insulted the frogs who croaked out the name of the beer by accusing them of having an iguana for a mother.
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