Taming igs

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Posted by cirsisue on June 16, 1999 at 16:17:39:

This is a cut and paste from the iml digest that is tooooo funny.Enjoy.
Here are a few things that I have tried and Ive sucessfully tamed two igs and am working on the third.
1. let your ig know that not every time you open his cage
you'll have a +stool in one hand and whip in the other.
find excuses to open the cage
like, fooood
and do anything BUT
don't expect him to like anything you do.
Totally ignore all his tail lashing and dirty looks,
and the long cut on your arm and the bleeding little toothie holes in your hand.
adjust the water bowl,
which is turning blood-red.
put food in the dish, fiddle with the bedding, act like you just pottering around.
while reaching for the 'phone and calling 911.
then close
or SLAM
the cage and leave him alone for a while.
Until the fire department or ambulance get there.
The Ig will soon
learn that all the fuss he makes
works every time.
he will also learn not to fear you every time the cage is opened and expect to be captured.
In fact, he will learn that you are a push-over and that anything goes until those guys with rains coats and axes get there.
2. Use your own body language to talk to your Iguana. Remember.... you are
bigger than he is.
Which will be impressive to the little guy when he learns: The bigger they are, the
harder they fall.
� I often put my hands on my hips at Excalibur, give him a cold stare and ask him "and just who do you think you are?" he may not understand the words but he can
jump on my foot and bite my shoe.
Usually when I do this he will lower his body and zone out saying
"Wait'll next time!"
3. If an Ig acts really protective of his environment, try
running the other way. Give him the keys and the utility bills.
4. Try
wearing long gloves while
touching him with a wooden spoon, or stick with something soft attached to the end of it by rubber bands. Some Igs will take
the spoon and break it.
5. Pick his favorite food... perhaps its Bannana's.
Of course, no matter what his favorite food is, someone will jump up and tell you just how bad it is!
6. Make sure the house is quiet and all other pets are out of the room when
he wants to watch NBA of NFL games with sound full-up.
7. Take your Ig out in the sun. Iguana's love the feel of the sunshine
and turning chocolate brown, and becoming the Sun-charged Ig From Haties!
Donna, if you've read this far, please accept the fact that I am trying (very) to
be humorous, based on personal experiences. What you said is all good stuff, some igs don't always respond just like we would like them to. Kirby Smithe
Tucson, AZ
______________________________________________Here are a few things that I have tried and Ive sucessfully tamed two igs and am working on the third.
1. let your ig know that not every time you open his cage
you'll have a +stool in one hand and whip in the other.
find excuses to open the cage
like, fooood
and do anything BUT
don't expect him to like anything you do.
Totally ignore all his tail lashing and dirty looks,
and the long cut on your arm and the bleeding little toothie holes in your hand.
adjust the water bowl,
which is turning blood-red.
put food in the dish, fiddle with the bedding, act like you just pottering around.
while reaching for the 'phone and calling 911.
then close
or SLAM
the cage and leave him alone for a while.
Until the fire department or ambulance get there.
The Ig will soon
learn that all the fuss he makes
works every time.
he will also learn not to fear you every time the cage is opened and expect to be captured.
In fact, he will learn that you are a push-over and that anything goes until those guys with rains coats and axes get there.
2. Use your own body language to talk to your Iguana. Remember.... you are
bigger than he is.
Which will be impressive to the little guy when he learns: The bigger they are, the
harder they fall.
� I often put my hands on my hips at Excalibur, give him a cold stare and ask him "and just who do you think you are?" he may not understand the words but he can
jump on my foot and bite my shoe.
Usually when I do this he will lower his body and zone out saying
"Wait'll next time!"
3. If an Ig acts really protective of his environment, try
running the other way. Give him the keys and the utility bills.
4. Try
wearing long gloves while
touching him with a wooden spoon, or stick with something soft attached to the end of it by rubber bands. Some Igs will take
the spoon and break it.
5. Pick his favorite food... perhaps its Bannana's.
Of course, no matter what his favorite food is, someone will jump up and tell you just how bad it is!
6. Make sure the house is quiet and all other pets are out of the room when
he wants to watch NBA of NFL games with sound full-up.
7. Take your Ig out in the sun. Iguana's love the feel of the sunshine
and turning chocolate brown, and becoming the Sun-charged Ig From Haties!
Donna, if you've read this far, please accept the fact that I am trying (very) to
be humorous, based on personal experiences. What you said is all good stuff, some igs don't always respond just like we would like them to. Kirby Smithe
Tucson, AZ
______________________________________________

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Re: Taming igs - Very funny! n/m Shnappy 6/16/99 (0)

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: This is a cut and paste from the iml digest that is tooooo funny.Enjoy. : Here are a few things that I have tried and Ive sucessfully tamed two igs and am working on the third. : 1. let your ig know that not every time you open his cage : you'll have a +stool in one hand and whip in the other. : find excuses to open the cage : like, fooood : and do anything BUT : don't expect him to like anything you do. : Totally ignore all his tail lashing and dirty looks, : and the long cut on your arm and the bleeding little toothie holes in your hand. : adjust the water bowl, : which is turning blood-red. : put food in the dish, fiddle with the bedding, act like you just pottering around. : while reaching for the 'phone and calling 911. : then close : or SLAM : the cage and leave him alone for a while. : Until the fire department or ambulance get there. : The Ig will soon : learn that all the fuss he makes : works every time. : he will also learn not to fear you every time the cage is opened and expect to be captured. : In fact, he will learn that you are a push-over and that anything goes until those guys with rains coats and axes get there. : 2. Use your own body language to talk to your Iguana. Remember.... you are : bigger than he is. : Which will be impressive to the little guy when he learns: The bigger they are, the : harder they fall. : � I often put my hands on my hips at Excalibur, give him a cold stare and ask him "and just who do you think you are?" he may not understand the words but he can : jump on my foot and bite my shoe. : Usually when I do this he will lower his body and zone out saying : "Wait'll next time!" : 3. If an Ig acts really protective of his environment, try : running the other way. Give him the keys and the utility bills. : 4. Try : wearing long gloves while : touching him with a wooden spoon, or stick with something soft attached to the end of it by rubber bands. Some Igs will take : the spoon and break it. : 5. Pick his favorite food... perhaps its Bannana's. : Of course, no matter what his favorite food is, someone will jump up and tell you just how bad it is! : 6. Make sure the house is quiet and all other pets are out of the room when : he wants to watch NBA of NFL games with sound full-up. : 7. Take your Ig out in the sun. Iguana's love the feel of the sunshine : and turning chocolate brown, and becoming the Sun-charged Ig From Haties! : Donna, if you've read this far, please accept the fact that I am trying (very) to : be humorous, based on personal experiences. What you said is all good stuff, some igs don't always respond just like we would like them to. Kirby Smithe : Tucson, AZ : ______________________________________________Here are a few things that I have tried and Ive sucessfully tamed two igs and am working on the third. : 1. let your ig know that not every time you open his cage : you'll have a +stool in one hand and whip in the other. : find excuses to open the cage : like, fooood : and do anything BUT : don't expect him to like anything you do. : Totally ignore all his tail lashing and dirty looks, : and the long cut on your arm and the bleeding little toothie holes in your hand. : adjust the water bowl, : which is turning blood-red. : put food in the dish, fiddle with the bedding, act like you just pottering around. : while reaching for the 'phone and calling 911. : then close : or SLAM : the cage and leave him alone for a while. : Until the fire department or ambulance get there. : The Ig will soon : learn that all the fuss he makes : works every time. : he will also learn not to fear you every time the cage is opened and expect to be captured. : In fact, he will learn that you are a push-over and that anything goes until those guys with rains coats and axes get there. : 2. Use your own body language to talk to your Iguana. Remember.... you are : bigger than he is. : Which will be impressive to the little guy when he learns: The bigger they are, the : harder they fall. : � I often put my hands on my hips at Excalibur, give him a cold stare and ask him "and just who do you think you are?" he may not understand the words but he can : jump on my foot and bite my shoe. : Usually when I do this he will lower his body and zone out saying : "Wait'll next time!" : 3. If an Ig acts really protective of his environment, try : running the other way. Give him the keys and the utility bills. : 4. Try : wearing long gloves while : touching him with a wooden spoon, or stick with something soft attached to the end of it by rubber bands. Some Igs will take : the spoon and break it. : 5. Pick his favorite food... perhaps its Bannana's. : Of course, no matter what his favorite food is, someone will jump up and tell you just how bad it is! : 6. Make sure the house is quiet and all other pets are out of the room when : he wants to watch NBA of NFL games with sound full-up. : 7. Take your Ig out in the sun. Iguana's love the feel of the sunshine : and turning chocolate brown, and becoming the Sun-charged Ig From Haties! : Donna, if you've read this far, please accept the fact that I am trying (very) to : be humorous, based on personal experiences. What you said is all good stuff, some igs don't always respond just like we would like them to. Kirby Smithe : Tucson, AZ : ______________________________________________

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