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You May be a herper if ..... Part two

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Posted by Snake lover 4 ever on July 04, 2002 at 09:17:20:

...when the last thing your daughters boyfriend has to worry about is a gun

...The Discovery Channel wants to send a film crew to your house. comment that the little rodent feet sticking out upside down in your snake's mouth are cute! [MK comment: my favorite is when they slurp in the tail!]

...when part of training new receptionists at work is "When Speedy Delivery comes, make sure you page Sarah right away."

...when you don't understand why the new receptionist would think it's weird that you get a 1000 crickets a week at the office. After all, nobody will guarantee live home delivery!

...when you are spotted by Petco Management, they send customers asking questions about the reptiles to you instead of their employees.

...guests are startled by the presence of turtles soaking in the bath tub when they visit the bathroom. have a nice ficus tree in your living room, but it has a spotlight aimed at it with a chameleon on it.

...instead of board games, your guests often play "catch the cricket" to help you round up the 50 or so crickets that your cat let loose in your bedroom. have an entertainment center in your bedroom, but instead of components, tapes and other entertainment media, there are large tanks of crickets, containers of minerals, extra heating elements, basking lamps, and fixtures for each crammed inside it. have at least 4 different tanks with 4 different sizes of crickets on hand at all times. people are afraid to come to your house (the Fed Ex man actually went running when I opened the door with a chameleon on my hand).

...once terrified by crawly bugs of any type, you now pull a wax worm out of a container with your hands, dust it, and hold it up to your chameleon who strikes it out of your hand.

... you find yourself having an emergency Caesarean and you can't find the numbers of the people giving you your baby shower, but you have Melissa Kaplan's numbers.

...every speech given Speech class is about caring for herps.

...all your friends call you Lizard Lady.

...only your closest friends know about the secret snakes in your dorm room. own over $200 worth of Reptile care books.

...your mother has become desensitized to dead mice in the freezer.

...your parents buy you $40 worth of dead mice as a Christmas present.

...your pregnant friend talks about babies and decorating the new kid's room - and you talk about hatchlings and setups.

...your daughter gives you a garter snake for Mother's Day, explaining to her new husband that it's a Mother/Daughter thing, because she had such good memories of our snakes from her childhood. are so used to crickets chirping that they are the only way you are able to sleep at night.

...if your aunt says, "Dear, you've got flour on your nose," and you glance in a mirror and say," oh no, that's cricket duster".

...your idea of fun is going out every weekend to every petstore with some kind of reptile in it. own a hundred tupperware/rubbermaid containers, but can't store any food in them because all the lids have holes in them.

...when someone yells "snake", and you race off after it. get out of your car to chase frogs out of the road.

....people say "oh yeah, your the lady with the snake."

...every kid in the neighborood has brought you a snake, frog, turtle, etc., to be identified.

...when your out-of-state relatives call and their first question is "How are the snakes?"

...when you hear your mum scream "Ah! a mouse!" and a smile lights up your face.

...guests at your house have to wait 10 minutes before they are allowed to sit on your couch. buy rodent food in a 50 pound bag. constantly buy aquarium supplies but own no fish (airstones for humidity, heaters for the incubators).

...your best picture of your wife/girlfriend is with a snake wrapped around her neck. hand a written disclaimer before letting anyone new in your house. hang signs all over your house "Escaped Snake! Please look before you sit!"

There is more that I'll post later

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