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You maybe a herper if.....

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Posted by Snake lover 4 ever on July 03, 2002 at 17:45:36:

...your pet's dinner requuires care and feediing until it is served. go hysterical when pet stores mix incompatible species in cages. put little white crosses on the side of the road when you find DOR herps.

...your home loan and appraisal papers include pictures of your 12 lb. iguana who lives on your fireplace... consider yourself a great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather at the age of 28. own lots of plastic storage boxes, but can't use them because they all have holes cut in them for hide boxes!

...your annual house cleaning is done when an animal escapes! buy shelves for new terrariums and supplies , and you already have 5 in your room.

...when you spend much of your spare time with a tape measure because you just know that you could fit a couple more cages in if you put them in side ways/on their sides/on top of each other... etc.

...the place you just rented is a real dump, but you don't mind it's so damp because there are rough skinned newts everywhere. spot your first wild bullfrog, and you drag your husband out to see it so you can share this special moment together. actually have a husband/wife who agrees it's a special moment! kick guests out after they say "What a cute little king snake" while looking into the sand skink's cage.'ve ever been in a flooring store and found yourself saying, "I really think vinyl is the best substrate for a child's room." mention to your husband that it will soon be time to babyproof your home because your baby will be "big enough to free-roam soon."'ve ever referred to your pediatrician as your child's vet.'ve ever referred to the nurse at your obstetrician's office as a vet tech.

...when your obstetrician explained that you needed additional calcium while pregnant, you nodded your head and murmured, "gravidity-induced MBD" under your breath.

...your obstetrician learned to ask what the reptile equivalent of a condition was so she could put things into terms you'd understand.

...your obstetrician explained the reason for needing a Caesarean as "egg dystocia".

...your baby had dry skin and you got misty-eyed at his first shed. name your firstborn after Adam Britton. call Melissa Kaplan from the hospital after giving birth, *and*...Melissa Kaplan's phone number is one of the few numbers you have with you in the hospital after giving birth.

...Melissa doesn't mind the baby not being named after her because, well, it was a 1.0, not 0.1...of course, the mother is just thrilled that it was a 1, period.

...when someone mentions being pregnant, you automatically correct her to "gravid". move the rubber snake out of the aisle at the toy store so it won't get run over...and identify its species while you're doing it. go jogging on a muddy track after a rainstorm and notice lots of earthworms wandering around, and you come back later with a cup. plan a trip to Vegas to meet Tim Rainwater and his world famous albino leopard gecko, Max trade your letter written by George Washington for one written by Raymond Ditmars. have an extra transformer in front of your house

...the people at the screen place, lumber store and glass place know you by your first name

...the biggest problem you face in a day is keeping your humidity high enough

...when neighborhood kids refer to your house as a zoo

...when your kids get kicked out of school for something they brought to show and tell

There is more that I'll post later

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