From Russian Tortoise list, off topic but funny!

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Posted by Terry on April 01, 2001 at 16:14:32:

Joe Chiro, list owner of the Russian Tortoise email group, posted this there today.
This boards's been a bit heavy lately so I thought I'd post it here to lighten things up a bit!
Totally off topic I know, but too good not to pass on!

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
(the actual Associated Press headline)

Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several
people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up, with
her
eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and
walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open,
and she
looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that
she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains
in
for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors
were
locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head. When they
finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the
back
of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat,
making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough
hit
her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it
was,
she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed
out,
but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour
until someone noticed and came to her aid.

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: Joe Chiro, list owner of the Russian Tortoise email group, posted this there today. : This boards's been a bit heavy lately so I thought I'd post it here to lighten things up a bit! : Totally off topic I know, but too good not to pass on! : : KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER : (the actual Associated Press headline) : : Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and : while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. : Several : people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up, with : her : eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. : : One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and : walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open, : and she : looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that : she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains : in : for over an hour. : : The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors : were : locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head. When they : finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the : back : of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, : making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough : hit : her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it : was, : she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed : out, : but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour : until someone noticed and came to her aid. :

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