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Posted by SNYDER on September 02, 1998 at 16:31:01:
The pen for my Texas Alligator Lizards is ten steps outside my window. Sixty steps further in the county park, past a screen of trees, is a deck looking out over the river. The park is supposed to close at dark, but hey, if folks stay around to make out, drink a little beer, or just hang out, who cares? I had a 55 gallon drum beside the lizard pen that I kept crickets in. One night at about 11 I heard a noise and looked out with a spotlight. There was a big old racoon, sittin' on top of the barrel, scratchin' the screen, trying to get in to steal my crickets. Now imagine the tone and words that a man who has worked the waterfront in Houston for 20 years would use to address a thieving animal. I hollered, "HEY, YOU ****ING COON, GET YOUR SORRY A** OUTA THERE." The racoon promptly complied. But from the park came the voice of an angry black man saying, "Who in the HELL do you think you're talking too?" Ooops!
So I got my clothes on, went out to the fence, and talked to him about lizards, crickets and racoons. He wasn't buyin' it, and wouldn't come over to talk. Finally I went and got a lizard, held it in the light of the flashlight and told him he could be mad or see the truth. He came over first, then his lady--- and we all went away smilin'.
Thank goodness it wasn't the defensive line of some football team!!!