Green Snake Joke

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ The Rat Snake Forum ]

Posted by MrMedoosa on March 10, 2002 at 10:09:16:

I thought you guys might like this:

ALWAYS THOUGHT GREEN SNAKES WERE OK? READ ON........
>
> Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not
> rattlesnakes.
>
> A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted daylily plants, and
> during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors
> to protect them from a possible freeze.
>
> It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one
> of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife
> saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
>
> The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked
> to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the
> sofa.
>
> He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About
> that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him in the butt. He
> thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.
>
> His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The
> attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started
> carrying him out.
>
> About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the
> Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
> stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the
> hospital.
>
> The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called
> on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed
> himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
> Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the
> sofa in relief.
>
> But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she
> felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake
> rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying
> there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.
>
> The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
> store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her
> husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking
> him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An
> ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury
> required hospitalization.
>
> The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
> lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he
> had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
> small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
>
> By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled
> the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred.
>
> They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to expla
> in how it all happened over a little green snake.
>
> They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing
> wife.
>
> Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch, One of the
> policemen drew his gun and fired at it.
>
> He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one
> side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and
> as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
>
> The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the
> window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up
> and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid
> it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.
>
> Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire
> house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the
> arriving fire truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway
> down the street.
>
> The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the
> electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block
> area.
>
> Time passed ----------------- Both men were discharged from the
> hospital.
>
> The house was re-built.
>
> The police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world.
>
> ------- About a year later they were watching TV and the
> weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his
> wife if she thought they should bring in their potted daylilies for the
> night.
>
> She shot him.

Follow Ups:

Post a Followup

Name:
E-Mail:

Subject:

Comments:
: I thought you guys might like this: : ALWAYS THOUGHT GREEN SNAKES WERE OK? READ ON........ : > : > Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not : > rattlesnakes. : > : > A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted daylily plants, and : > during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors : > to protect them from a possible freeze. : > : > It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one : > of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife : > saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. : > : > The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked : > to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the : > sofa. : > : > He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About : > that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him in the butt. He : > thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. : > : > His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The : > attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started : > carrying him out. : > : > About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the : > Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the : > stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the : > hospital. : > : > The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called : > on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed : > himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. : > Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the : > sofa in relief. : > : > But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she : > felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake : > rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying : > there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her. : > : > The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery : > store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her : > husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking : > him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An : > ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury : > required hospitalization. : > : > The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor : > lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he : > had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a : > small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. : > : > By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled : > the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. : > : > They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to expla : > in how it all happened over a little green snake. : > : > They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing : > wife. : > : > Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch, One of the : > policemen drew his gun and fired at it. : > : > He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one : > side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and : > as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. : > : > The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the : > window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up : > and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid : > it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire. : > : > Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire : > house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the : > arriving fire truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway : > down the street. : > : > The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the : > electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block : > area. : > : > Time passed ----------------- Both men were discharged from the : > hospital. : > : > The house was re-built. : > : > The police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world. : > : > ------- About a year later they were watching TV and the : > weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his : > wife if she thought they should bring in their potted daylilies for the : > night. : > : > She shot him.

Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL:

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ The Rat Snake Forum ]