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Oh man, LMAO that's great! n/p


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Posted by ophidius on February 16, 2003 at 19:43:16:

In Reply to: Reptile rights violations upset PETA posted by theMAC on February 14, 2003 at 13:17:23:

:In a Scathing Report to the National Institute for Reading Scathing Reports this month, PETA alleges thousands of reptile rights violations occurring right here in the USA. The article’s author Pearson Heightor reports that the US’s lackadaisical laws regarding a reptiles right to live under rocks and only come out when they eat bugs has been severely infringed upon by the herpetoculture community. The article begins by asserting that the living conditions provided by most herp collectors and breeders is unlivable. At a press conference last week the author was quoted as saying “...have you ever been in a snake room? Its like 85 degrees! It’s sweltering…if that’s not a sweat shop I don’t know what is. I live in LA and its never over 75 degrees...and I saw a snake here once in a park...so its obvious these ppl are just being mean”. He also noted that most snake care sheets suggest giving snakes a tiny box in which to hide. “This is one of the most grotesque capitalistic philosophies I’ve ever seen. These greedy ppl are give these animals dark cramped boxes as their only shelter. Have you ever seen a bunch of cramped dark boxes in the wild?”, said Mr Heightor. He also noted that many snakes are locked in chilly rooms for months at a time with out food or adequate sunlight. “What kind of cold blooded monster would enjoy this treatment” said Mr. Heightor who likened herpetoculture to “the way Joan Crawford treated her kids...only instead of beating your child with a hanger its these awful metal hooks and tongs”

:In a phone interview with Mr. Red Neckison, the owner/operator of Red’s Rattlesnake farm and Alligator-burger shack in Hicksville, Texas, Red (representing the entire herpetoculture community) slammed Mr. Heightor’s report as “a bunch of hog wash” and added “I hope he chokes on his tofu.” Mr Neckison then went on to explain how rattlesnake round ups help “thin the herd” and explained the herper’s perspective of snakes. “Snakes is about not bein skeered. When you can put your hand against a pickle jar with a diamond back in it and not flinch when he strikes...you ain’t skeered”

:The most disturbing part of Mr Heightor’s initial report was that so many children seem to be involved in the snake abuse. “I went to one of these [herp] shows, and it was appalling. They see adults marching around with these beautiful snakes. But they don’t see the hot humid rooms filled with row after row of poor trapped creatures that should be free in an unspoiled environment...Animals like the Albino Burmese Python and the Blizzard Corn Snake can’t even be found in the wild anymore. When was the last time you took your kids to the zoo and saw a leucistic rat snake?”

:A recent internet chat room pole by Herp Humor News of 1000 kids between the ages of 13 and 17 (who should have been in school but were instead playing video games on the internet) revealed that
:60% think snakes are “cool”,
:10% think they are “0_o ”,
:10% think they “su>:and 5% think they are “1337| |-|4><0r5”
:...the other 5% sent us links to porn sites.

:Of boys polled
:75% said they wanted to own snakes “big enough to eat Jennifer Lopez”
:while the remaining 25% was split between “poisonous” ones and “cobras”.
:Of girls polled
:80% said they “like snakes but Jeff Corwin is WAY better looking than Steve Irwin”
:18% had already read Mr Heightor's report and asked us “what kind of fascist pigs we where working for the oppressive imperialistic media"
:while 2% confessed that they already raise snakes and asked if we would help them thaw rats.

:This reporter considers these, very disturbing results.

:So far the only published statement in rebuttal to Mr Heightor’s report was by the NRA, in which Charleton Heston said “They can have my Python when they pry it from around my cold dead corpse”

:Reporting for Herp Humor News, this is MAC
:





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