Made in the USA - Freedom Breeder
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Posted by ophidius on December 14, 2002 at 16:33:31:
In Reply to: Twas The Night Before Christmas In The Snake Room posted by glenn bartley on December 14, 2002 at 12:28:46:
:Well I would call this an original, but you certainly can see I relied heavily on some other guy's poem! Oh well, it is a fun rewrite with lots of artistic license!
:Twas The Night Before Christmas In The Snake Room
:'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
:Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
:The shed snake skins were hung by the heat lamp with care,
:In hopes that Saint Rick-of-us soon would be there;
:The snakelings were nestled all snug in their beds,
:With visions of fat mice constricted in their heads;
:And Mamma and I in hidebox, with cloudy eyecaps,
:Had just settled down for our long winter's naps,
:When outside the tank there arose such a clatter,
:I slithered from the bed to see what was the matter.
:Away to the glass I crawled like a flash,
:then right through the screen top I tore open a gash.
:The moon on the breast of the cellar floor below
:Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects down low,
:When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
:But a sleigh pulled by 8 turtles, not tiny reindeer,
:With a horned lizard driver who looked fat but quick,
:I knew in a moment it must be St. Reptile Rick
:More rapid than collared lizards his tortugas they came,
:And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
:"Now, Boxie! now, Cooter! now, and Spotted and Map!
:On, Mata! and Slider! On Myrtle and Snap!
:To the top of the rack system! to the very top with care!
:Now crawl away! crawl away! Don't get caught by the hare!"
:Like dry shed scales that into a vacuum cleaner fly,
:When they get sucked right up into the basement sky,
:So up to the rack-top the tortoises they flew,
:With a sleigh full of mousicles, and Reptile Rick too.
:And then, in a twinkling, I heard that all was very well
:with a scraping sound overhead of each plastron shell.
:As I drew in my forked tongue, and was slithering round,
:Down the inside of my tank came Reptile Rick with a bound.
:He was dressed all in spikes, from his head to his tail,
:And his scales were all cold and looking quite pale;
:A bundle of mousicles he had flung on his back,
:And he looked like a snake keeper about to open a sack.
:His eyes -- how they twinkled! his spikes just like armor!
:His cheeks were like sandpaper, this lizard had karma!
:His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
:with the leg of an ant hanging on his chin just below;
:The pincer of a harvester ant he held tight in his teeth,
:And formic acid was squirted all over his head like a wreath;
:He had a broad face, and a really well filled round belly,
:Some ants were still alive in there cause it shook like jelly.
:He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old lizard,
:I hoped when I saw him, to soon taste a mouse gizzard;
:A wink of his eye and a twist of his tail,
:Soon gave me to know that he wouldn't fail;
:He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
:And filled all the shed skins; then turned with a jerk,
:And laying a claw just aside of his snout,
:And giving a nod, up from my tank he went out;
:He crawled in his sleigh, and to his turtles gave a shake of his head,
:And away they all flew like scales, that in a wind he had shed.
:But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
:"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
:Merry Christams, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all.